Not My Catnip
by AmethystWren
Summary: One-shot. "I watched as they gave each-other a fleeting look, filled with emotions; happiness, love. All I could think was 'she never looked at me like that'. And it stung like crazy." Katniss and Peeta's wedding through the eyes of Gale Hawthorne. Katniss/Peeta with some one-sided Gale/Katniss.


**Sorry to anyone out there eagerly awaiting an update to Running (my fic following Maysilee and the 2nd Quarter Quell) but this wouldn't leave me alone! Hopefully everyone's not too OOC. Especially Gale. I hope he's okay.**

**Disclaimer- I do not own the Hunger Games or any of the characters in this fic. Suzanne Collins does.**

**Warning- There are a few Mockingjay spoilers in here, for anyone who hasn't read that yet.**

* * *

I was eating porridge when the invitation came; I remember that well, for some reason. I remember dashing down the road after the postman, just to check this was real and not all a joke.

"Where did you get this?" I asked him frantically.

"It was just in my letter bag, Mr. Hawthorne!" The postman said shakily. "I swear!"

I clutched the envelope tightly in my hand. "Thank you." I whispered.

And I let the poor man continue his round.

I opened the letter slowly, sitting at the breakfast table. I recognised her handwriting the moment I'd seen the envelope, hence chasing the postman down the road. This is going to sound creepy, but I realised it even _smelt_ like my Catnip as I pulled the piece of paper out. Only she wasn't my Catnip anymore. I really had to stop thinking of her like that.

I found it more than a little annoying that she'd ignored me for two years and then invited me to her wedding. Still, no matter what she seemed to think, she was my best friend. Sure, I had new friends her in District 2, but none of them were Katniss Everdeen. They couldn't hunt. They hadn't lost their fathers in the same mining accident that had cost me mine. They didn't know what it was like to watch the girl you loved falling for another right in front of you.

* * *

The morning of the wedding, I took the train to District 12. Since the Uprising, we'd managed to get the train service to run all over Panem at a price affordable to everybody. Well, _nearly_ everybody.

I remember stepping off the train. Of course, this being a wedding and all, I was dressed formally; a crisp, ironed white shirt and a smart pair of black trousers, topped off with a black blazer. My new job meant I wore formal clothes far more often than I used to, but it was one of those things I never thought I'd be able to get used to. I still feel strange in a suit. What I wouldn't give for my old hunting gear; the jacket and the leather boots, moulded to my feet so that they're as much a part of me as my hands or my nose.

As I walked through District 12 for the first time in two years, a wave of nostalgia swept over me. This building would look different, So-and-so's house had been rebuilt differently, but it was District 12, and the very air seemed remarkably different to that of District 2's. I was home. I'd known I'd missed it, but I hadn't realised quite how much until I saw it again.

Checking my watch, I noticed I had a few hours until I was due at the church. I decided to take a detour, walking past the once-electrified fence. Only the fence wasn't there anymore and the meadow was free for everyone.

Families picnicked in the long grass, children chased each-other around. The grass was trampled here, yellowing there. Its beauty, the sweet natural beauty I remembered so well, just wasn't there. Not with all these people. Instead, it was littered and brown and... It wasn't as pretty anymore.

Angry, I stormed into the forest. Up to the place where Katniss and I used to sit. Our place.

I sat on the rock there, part of me hoping I hadn't got my suit dirty as I trekked through the woods and another part not really caring. As I sat there seething, I heard footsteps. They were clumsy footsteps- snapping every twig on the forest floor, it seemed- though they weren't fast. This was someone walking, someone enjoying the scenery.

I looked up, found myself staring into startled grey eyes. Startled, but determined not to show it. They reminded me a little of myself, and with good reason.

"Gale?" Their owner asked.

"Rory?" I said, equally surprised. "What are you doing here?"

My younger brother chose to ignore me, instead wrinkling his nose as he examined my attire. "You look funny in a suit."

"Yeah, well, I'm going to a wedding." I grumbled. I scooted across the rock a little so that Rory could sit beside me, which he did.

"Katniss and Peeta's?" He guessed.

"Katniss and Peeta's." I confirmed, sounding far more bitter than I'd meant to.

"You still love her, don't you?"

I didn't answer. Because, in all honesty, I didn't know.

Rory and I sat in the woods, catching up on each-other's lives and such, for a long time. When we did leave, it was quite reluctantly.

* * *

When we reached the church, Rory insisted I follow him to a seat. I was more than a little confused, trying to avoid the gazes of everyone- both familiar and not- as I didn't feel like getting into a conversation right then.

Rory made me sit down beside a small girl with pale red hair and green eyes. He sat on the other side of me.

"Hey, Posy," He said, leaning over me. "Look what I found."

Posy looked up at me, her green eyes widening.

"Gale?" She said quietly. I nodded and she squealed. "Mum, look! Look what Rory found!"

"_Who_, Posy." I corrected, sending my brother an annoyed glare. Rory snickered.

Mum, who was sitting on the other side of Posy, looked as though she might cry with pure happiness as her eyes met mine.

"You look so grown up." She told me. I shook my head. I didn't _feel_ grown up. I felt all confused. Part of me wanted to strangle Katniss for ignoring me all this time, yet another part of me knew I never could. She was Catnip, _always_ Catnip, and I just couldn't strangle her.

"Where's Vick?" I asked, deciding to turn the conversation around.

"Annie asked him to baby-sit while she helped Katniss get ready." Mum explained. "He's good with little kids. Like you were."

"I was only ever good with Rory, Vick and Posy, Mum." I insisted.

"And Prim." Rory added quickly, somewhat sadly. "You were _fantastic_ with Prim."

I opened my mouth to say something, but the music had begun to play. Peeta Mellark walked down the aisle hastily, as though he'd forgotten he was meant to be up at the altar by now. He turn around, gave the crowd a nervous smile, which ignited a few chuckles. Not from me, though.

Suddenly, everyone stood up. I quickly stood up too, slightly startled- the last time I'd been to a wedding was Finnick and Annie's, two years ago. Posy snickered, so I elbowed her slightly. It was amazing how quickly I'd gotten back to my old relationship with my siblings, even if I hadn't seen them for years.

The reason everyone had stood quickly became clear; Katniss Everdeen. She was walking down the aisle, her wedding dress fashioned to look like ruffled white down feathers. She had a crown of real down feathers entwined in her dark hair, which was pulled back from her face in a fishtail braid.

Annie trailed behind her with a basket of flowers. She was smiling brightly, her pale green dress matching her eyes perfectly. The last time I'd seen her smile, she'd had Finnick's arm wrapped round her shoulders. I pushed the memory away; he'd been a good man, even if somewhat annoying.

Everyone sat down. I watched as Peeta and Katniss exchanged vows. I watched as they placed rings on each-other's fingers. I watched as they kissed. I watched as they gave each-other a fleeting look, filled with emotions; happiness, love. All I could think was _'she never looked at me like that'_. And it stung like crazy.

* * *

After the wedding, the reception was up at the meadow. Not being a parties person (it was something Paylor had tried several times to change, but had failed at every time), I snuck off into the woods.

"Gale," Said a quiet voice. I stopped, turning around. I was deep in the woods now, somewhere I shouldn't have been found. "Are you alright?"

It was Annie, dressed up in her pastel blue bridesmaid dress. She'd followed me? Or was she escaping too- she didn't seem like a parties person either. "I'm fine." I lied.

She wasn't convinced. "You still love Katniss. Why did you come here?" Boy, was she good at mind-reading!

"It's been two years!" I shouted. I always could shout in the woods without fear of being overheard. "I should be over all this!"

"It's been two years since Finnick… Left…" She said cautiously. "And I still have to cry myself to sleep every night."

"I'm sorry to hear that." And I meant it, I really did.

"You're _not_ going to forget this, Gale." Annie stated. "Not unless you face your fear."

"I'm not afraid."

"You are."

* * *

Annie led me back, made me stay at the party in the meadow. She hovered by my side, ready to catch me if I made a move for the forest. I think guarding me was the only reason she hadn't taken her young son from Vick and dashed for the woods herself.

The moment Peeta was occupied, telling some Capitol ladies a story about something that happened to him in the arena, Annie pushed me toward Katniss.

Katniss Ev- Mellark. Katniss Mellark was over by the drinks stand, talking with someone I recognised as Effie Trinket; District 12's old Hunger Games escort. I never really knew the woman, but I still disliked her. Her job, after all, had been to 'escort' children and teenagers to their deaths. It makes me feel sick just thinking about it.

Catnip, however, was beautiful. Still beautiful. She was holding a glass, smiling at something Effie had said.

"Hello," I said warily as Annie removed her hand from my back.

Katniss dropped her glass. Thankfully it was empty, or else there would be a horrible stain all down her beautiful feathery dress. "You came?"

"Of course I came." I said, unsure whether I was pretending to be offended or I actually was. "You're my best friend."

She stood, staring. And I'm not sure if it was the alcohol or if she was genuinely pleased to see me, but she stumbled forward and threw her arms round my neck in a hug. Of course, I hugged her back.

Yet I couldn't enjoy the moment. She wasn't my Catnip anymore, and she never would be again.


End file.
